This Should Not Be

I was blessed with the opportunity to sit under very wise counsel today, and I am emotionally moved and totally convicted about my "heart for missions" by the things this man brought to mind. I would say that I am committed to missions, especially at this point. I would have said that throughout the past ten years or so of my life. Sadly, though, I have done little in putting a dent in the millions around the world who have never heard the name of Jesus. I've had little to do with financially supporting those who are actively being obedient to the call of the Great Commission, and even less to do with the activity of the Great Commission, overseas and on familiar territory. This should not be. Sure I have shared the gospel with people, I have gone on week long mission trips, but I have never fully submitted to a life of introducing the truth of Christ to everyone I encounter. While studying Acts I've been convicted that the people around me should eternally benefit from my presence in their lives, I'm broken that this just hasn't been the case.

I've grown up with the understanding that a yearly Christmas offering is noble and sacrificial. In addition, that it is all that's necessary to support the global cause of missions. That the SBC is brilliant to support missionary's out of the offering plates of the American church. There are 17million Baptists in America and right now there is a halt on the sending agency, solely due to a significant drop in funds. 17million Baptists in America are sending out 5,600 of their own around the world, but will not tithe enough to send anymore. This should not be. That yearly Christmas offering is a balm for the conscience of the American church. I'm not sure that the funds will be available for me to return at the end of my two years. What then?

I feel now as if I'm throwing a paper airplane into a snow storm of lostness. How can a difference be made in a group of thousands of people in only 2 years? The 300 people being trained with me now, will that be enough to affect the supersized unreached groups they're going to?

Right now I am with 300 or so others who are pumped up and ready to go to the most hidden corners of the world with the ultimate Good News; and it's so exciting to be a part of the first few lines of this page of history! I'm broken hearted, though, knowing that there will be thousands that die before my friends and I ever land in our new homes. They're dying today. They're dying eternally. This should not be. Our News is only Good if it reaches those people while they have a chance to Live. This is the challenge of the Gospel, and the command of Jesus in Matthew 28:19 to "Go, therefore, and make disciples of All Nations...".

I believe in PRAYER!

The Consulate has the power to hold onto any VISA requests for as long as they want, please pray fervently for a QUICK turnaround in this process! Recent colleagues have waited months! I'm currently still waiting on documents from the US Secretary of State, so that I can apply for the VISA! This is the first of many steps in a parade of faith, I know!

Speaking of prayer, I am so thankful for your diligence in lifting up my personal needs and those of the people I'm working with. I want to pray for you, too! Send your requests through the email link, or post any public requests as a comment, if you would like others to pray!

God Bless You, today!

SO much to take in!

As time here is wrapping up, I'm overwhelmed with all that I have learned! I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to be taught such valuable lessons by some of the wisest and most experienced leaders in their fields. I am especially thankful for the week we focused on safety overseas. As the reality of moving alone to a third world country inches closer, I have at times allowed anxiety to take root in my heart and mind. I am so encouraged by the consistent reminder that God has called me not to a place or even to a people, but to himself. Whatever is in store over the next two years and beyond that, I will never be out of His view, and certainly never out of his grasp. Those who delivered these valuable lessons, were a blessing, and are very much appreciated!

Something else the Lord has shown me is just how quick I am to forget that intimacy with Him is actually what I'm striving for. I get tunnel vision about what spiritual disciplines I must focus on in order to improve, or strip sin away from myself. While those tangible tasks of the faith are certainly necessary if I'm going to walk with the Lord, they are not actually the goal. As usual I was slapped around and then picked right back up by a passage just this week. In Hosea, chapter 2, the Lord talks about Israel as if they are the adulteress wife. He so beautifully illustrates his undying love for his people, for me; as he talks of alluring her back to himself with tender words and promises of redemption and restoration. I believe I am most moved by verses 17 and 19 "I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips; no longer will their names be invoked. I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion". He is an Almighty God, he doesn't have to wait around for her to prioritize her day or remember to set aside time to fast and pray and work futilely to avoid sin. He chases her and removes the desire she has for sin, because what he desires is not her empty actions, but her commitment and affection; he desires her heart.

What a beautiful God we serve! He is the only one who sees the deepest recesses of our adulteress hearts, and he loves us. He not only awaits our return, he often arranges it.