As I wait (and wait and wait) for the VISA to come through and/or to find out if it would be better to take a different job; I aim many questions at the Lord.
Is it most obedient to be patient during this time and trust that all along the plan was to have a 'break' between training and actually going? Is it most obedient to take a different job that needs workers (ie: where You send, I will go). How can I daily impact my surroundings for the Kingdom? Why can't I seem to learn portuguese? How much TV can a person actually watch in a day? See? SO many questions!
As I continually fire these things skyward, I'm always processing the idea that God is in control of the universe. When He said 'you will have trouble in this world, but take heart because I have overcome the world', He actually meant just that. This time frame, this job, the global need for workers...ALL in His hands.
I came face to face with that concept in a most bizarre way last night. As my youngest brother and I faced hour 10 of the ever so long drive from Tennessee to Baltimore we met up with an exit ramp guardrail...a few times. Now, I'm no stranger to car accidents; but losing complete control of a vehicle is the most surreal experience I've had. For once I wasn't speeding or distractedly driving, but the roads were more slick and the exit ramp a sharper turn than I realized. For all the factors that fed into the cause of the accident, there are just as many things that really should have been worse. It is unbelievable how specific God's care for us is.
The jeep was banged up, but completely drivable. It didn't drive any differently for the remaining 3 hours home. The airbags didn't deploy, which undoubtedly would have caused more harm than good (to our faces). We are completely unhurt. No one was in front of or behind us, and so the sliding and spinning was stopped by the guardrail and not another car full of people. The jeep did not flip, which they are notorious for doing.
Shaken but fine, we talked about all of those details that could have caused severe, even fatal damage and we were amazed. But why?
Of course God can keep us safe in a spinning car in between two huge pieces of metal. Of course he can control the amount of damage done in a situation I have no control over. Of course God knows how the result of his pull on my heart to serve will turn out. Of course, because He is God and He controls the biggest and smallest details of the world; not to mention of our lives.