Dear Journal,
My thrill for life here is quite cyclical, meaning, I can have a pity party for 1 in about 5 seconds after a full day of being corrected (grammatically) or treated more or less incompetent because i'm foreign (and wouldn't really know how to do what they need done, anyway) or the electricity is out for 20 minutes and every store and bakery in a 3 mile radius has decided to call it a day before I can get a loaf of bread. (all yesterday) BUT the Lord has continuously been showing me how poisonous my lazy and self involved tendencies are. I mean when that kind of stuff all happens on the same day it is a bit discouraging, but really, I'm not discouraged with life here. If anything, I'm encouraged by the excitement some of the kids have to hear a new bible story and the willingness of families to open their homes to an impromptu bible study. The gospel is not fully understood here, and they're anxious to understand it!
One of the most encouraging things for me right now is the Old Testament. No, really. I've skimmed through the history books of the bible before but lately Leviticus and Deuteronomy have had major insight into the life of Sara.
I am the Lord your God...I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high.
Leviticus 26:13
God rescued me from the slavery of sin, but He won't force me to walk in obedience. I've been enabled to do so, but if I choose to dwell in discouragement and cater to my pride...well, thats just it...I can choose that. And sometimes, I do. I always regret it and try to find my way back to how the Lord wants me to handle myself. And, of course...
But if from there (in my case, selfishness/rebellion/etc) you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you look with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these thins have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey him. For the Lord your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath.
Deuteronomy 4:29-31
I just can't settle with the camp that the christian life = suffering. Every life has suffering and valleys, etc. But I'm so good with the idea that God rescued me from my sin, from myself for a glorious, eternal reward...but also to be a part of His kingdom on earth; which is a really fun thing to be a part of! It's hard some days, but I love it...I really do.
But He brought us out from there (slavery in Egypt) to bring us in and give us the land that He promised on oath to our forefathers.
Deuteronomy 6:23
As I begin my day waiting for my first graders to arrive, I stop to see if you have any new postings. And TADA,you do! So, now I feel silly. I was thinking of what I was struggling with today, and my gripes and whines(crazy parents, new administration, bla, bla, bla). You were always so good at opening the blinds and letting the light in on the room. I'm sorry you had a crappy day, and oh how I wish we could just watch some Boy Meets World and laugh together awhile. But, it's times like this, that I see how God has truly called you to something greater than us. He wants you there and is so proud of the work you've done, and yet to do. I love you and hope that with every BLA day, He shows you that your rescue was part of his amazing plan! This may sound selfish, but thank you for what you're doing. You are bringing light to Brazil, but also light to my sometimes cloudy world!
ReplyDeleteAwesome!! Thanks for being real with all of the ups and downs of living overseas. Some days are just harder than other days. You have some really cool pictures of children.
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